Monday, June 3, 2013

The Finishers: Overnight at Sweetwater's Donut Mill | Rough Draft

     A single bell chimes, reverberating through the empty shop. Ceramic coffee mugs, 30th anniversary travel thermoses and plush bears with dopey faces look down from their perches, sitting high above the glistening glazed donuts. 
     At 3:12am, a magenta truck pulls up to the drive-thru.  His face obscured by shadow, a forty-something wearing a trucker hat nudges his scruffy chin out the window, his voice full of sleep. 
     “Gimme two Bostons.”
     Mary Schwarts knows this regular. He’s part of the night-time crowd, the ones just ending their days closer to dawn than dusk. Three or four times a week she works the night shift, 10am-6am, filling 170 dozen boxes of donuts for the morning pick-up, re-stocking over fifty flavors all while working the counter and the drive-thru. She’s gotten good at it after working at eight different donut places, but she says Sweetwater’s is the best of them all. 
     She climbs a salmon-colored step-stool covered in crumbs—donut carnage—and reaches for the Boston creams on the top shelf. 
     “Hey hon, I’m sorry” truck man said, “I forgot my wallet. Gonna go.”
     Mary doesn’t hesitate. She stuffs the donuts into a single waxy bag. 
     “You can pay tomorrow. We know you’re good for it.” 
     Sweetwater’s Donut Mill opened in Kalamazoo in 1983 on Stadium drive and quickly added two additional locations over the next six years. They’re known for their classic treats, both yeast and cake varieties, but they also have famous apple fritters, Piña Colada muffins, a pistachio muffin that looks like the Hulk is bursting forth from it’s neon-batter insides, cherry cordials and hundreds of donut holes. While their local ingredient, all-from scratch recipes attract the masses, their 24 hour service keeps the place breathing while the rest of the city sleeps. 
     During the day, the donut mill fills with flocks of hungry visitors.  But overnight, a select group makes their way to the haven of fried goods and cheap coffee.  Late night custodial workers, truckers, pizza and Jimmy Johns delivery guys, pregnant women, Western Michigan University and Kalamazoo College students, high kids from Menna’s next door and regulars who come in every night for a quick chat and a long-john mill in and out, and Mary knows all of them. 
     “I don’t know why, but I know when to say good morning to someone and good night to another person. You learn how to read people.”
     At 2:12am, a guy walks in wearing a “You Mad, Bro?” T-shirt, camo shorts and a Detroit Tigers hat, followed by a larger guy with a buzz cut and baggy jeans and a sweatshirt that says “Roll me a fatty” on the small of his back.  The first orders a grasshopper, a new flavor, neon-mint colored and flavored frosting with a coating of chocolate chips and chocolate drizzle atop a chocolate cake donut. The second, two sugar raised. 
     They sit on the park bench seats next to the windows for a second before deciding to take the donuts to go. 
     Mary wipes her hands on the front of her Sweetwater’s Western shirt. She got it as a gift last year from the shop so that she could promote both the University and the donut mill.  She tucks her dark hair back into a bun with a thick black head-band keeping her bangs back.  Her shimmery purple eye shadow glimmers like the four diamond studs on her ears. The thick stitching on her jeans matches the powdered sugar donuts. 
     “I’ve been wanting to try this one.”
     Mary grabs a raspberry jelly frosted with white fluff, rips it in half and bites into the filling. 
     “It’s just okay,” she said, taking one small second bite from the cake before throwing both halves in the trash.  
     Mary says working alone at night gets exhausting. Between 10pm and 6am she’s the only one working the front of the house. There are usually two or three people working in the back, a cleaner and a fryer.  The finishers, the ones who glaze, frost, sprinkle and stuff the donuts don’t get in until later, around fiver or six in the morning. 
     She also works at Tim Hortons and attends Western as a full-time student studying to be a teacher in Family and Consumer Science—the updated version of Home Economics.  Her favorite donut had been the chocolate cloud, a yeast donut filled with white fluff and a chocolate glaze, but has recently been replaced by the s’more, a chocolate cake donut topped with marshmallow fluff and a graham cracker sprinkle. 
Ron, the cleaning guy wears a weight bearing belt to help his crooked back. His handle bar mustache and pony-tail dangle over the sink. He’s pissed someone left mop water in the back and yells something to Mary, but she just shrugs. 
“Everyone is really great, but midnights bring out a lot of creeps.” 
Mary usually feels safe, and emphasizes that she’s never felt vulnerable at the store, but sometimes she feels uncomfortable.  
“This one guy, I think he watches girls on his computer while he’s in here, but I’m not sure.  People are nice but they leave and you’re like holy crap, this guy could abduct me.”
     Mary doesn’t want to talk about it, but she does think the sexual attention she gets in the store gets really old.  A customer who comes in playing with an orange lanyard asks her teasingly  if she likes bananas.  She has a consistent defense, a quick eye roll and then asks if they’d like coffee. 
     “I take advantage of being the only girl so much.”
     Ron comes back out from the back. No one has entered the store for awhile, but the door chime still hums slightly. Ron walks over to the sink next to the ‘90s cappuccino machine. 
     “Whatcha doing? Washing your hands?”
     Ron shrugs and dries his hands on a brown paper towel. 
     “We don’t do that kind of thing here” Mary said before turning around to refill the buttermilks. 
     “But I’m kidding of course.”

Word Count: 1016
Intended Publication: Second Waves or a Kalamazoo branch of Maggie Kane's overnight radio series. 

5 comments:

  1. Hannah,

    I said this on Zac's blog, but you two both have very distinctive styles. Yours definitely comes through in this piece, adding a warmth and familiarity that makes me feel like we all live in one big happy neighborhood.

    I love the idea of the overnight at Sweetwater's... I think a different breed of people come out at the time of night, or maybe people show a different side of themselves that not many people get a chance to see. I also like how you described both Mary and Sweetwater's. Also "donut carnage" is genius.

    You have a few nit picky editing things, like you say 10am-6am and there's another little bobble somewhere else that I'm forgetting...I don't think you need to do a large section of describing, but maybe the piece could benefit from describing Sweetwater's immediate surrounding or more of the inside of the shop.

    Lovely work, Hannah!

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  2. Hannah,

    Covering Sweetwaters at night is a wonderful idea, and I like how you focus the story through Mary and her experiences working the night shift. I don’t know if that was your intention or not, but I liked it. I thought your description of her was great -- it really gave me a visual. However, I wanted to know a little bit more about Mary -- like why has she worked at so many donut shops, and during lull periods during the night shift what does she do to keep herself occupied?

    I loved the writing style of this piece and how you weave in descriptions. For instance: “She climbs a salmon-colored step-stool covered in crumbs -- donut carnage -- and reaches for the Boston creams on the top shelf. The quotes you collected from Mary are also very indicative of her character. I really loved: “I don’t know why, but I know when to say good morning to someone and good night to another person. You learn how to read people.”

    I also wanted to see more of the people that come in during the night shift. I thought the descriptions of the two guys you did include was great, but I want a little more of it. Really good work!

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  3. I think that this is a really interesting piece. Not many of us see Sweetwater's during the wee hours of the night (or morning, however one would put it). Anyways, I think that your descriptions of people, donuts and the physical setting of the doughnut shop are incredibly interesting. In this piece (and in all of your pieces) you do such a great job of providing vivid imagery to the simplest things-- like a doughnut.

    Like Suzanne, I wanted to know a bit more about Mary. What does one do during all that time? I'm sure that she has a lot to do, but there is certainly downtime. Also, I wondered what it would be like if you went to Sweetwater's during the day to notice the differences between the day and night shift, and those could be highlighted to show how unique the night shift really is. That's just an idea though.

    Overall, I thought you did a great job and have a great point to work from. Great job, Hannah!

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  4. I met Mary one night at Sweetwaters a couple weeks ago! I was surprised to hear about her history of donut shops and found myself asking her questions about it. I think you did a great job of setting the scene and I loved the way you described the people who came in and her interactions with them. I agree that talking more about what she is doing between customer visits could add more to the piece. For example, you mention filling donut boxes for the morning? but I'm not entirely sure what this means. I remember seeing piles of boxes there, but where do all those donuts go! Overall, I think you did a great job.

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  5. Great voice. I think that, while your interactions with Mary were great, it could benefit the piece to include people's opinions of Sweetwater's that were there at the time, why they go there so late, etc. etc. Other than that, I don't really have any complaints other than the fact that this was the second one in a row that was about food when I'm hungry. Great job.

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